No need for such traditions, I firmly declared to myself each January as I reminded myself of the countless opportunities available each Monday morning; every week; at the start of a new month. To be perfectly honest, I think the idea of fixed, written intentions scares me silly. Perhaps I hesitate to compile a chart of lofty goals because deep down I'm afraid of failing? The more pomp and circumstance which accompanies such actions seems to make them loom even larger on the horizon, and with bigger dreams comes more worry and concern over being able to carry out such elaborate plans.
In identifying my tendency to freeze up (and most likely, to fail), I began carving up those big plans - instead, setting manageable daily and weekly deadlines for myself. While these miniature tasks held less sense of achievement, they took on a small but significant role as each one became a stepping stone for my new path. Like an athlete in training, every tiny decision served to develop strength; flex inner muscles of determination and to discover patience that allowed me to master each small victory.
Through the forest lined with ghosts of bad habits and undiagnosed attention deficit I ran; challenged myself daily in a non-existent gym where goals centered around the principle of "better each day". Finally, I began to learn how to take a big process and successfully dissect it down into multiple, manageable steps, and the more I repeated these tiny actions the further along I went - for the first time in my life the big picture was something I could actually see myself in.
As it turns out, I'm not unique in feeling overwhelmed while facing large goals or a complex process, but I'd always felt everyone around me seemed so much more skillful at climbing their mountains. I'd grown to view my difficulties as a definition of what I was incapable of achieving, but now there was the discovery of a prize worth more than any race medal or award - an understanding that my journey was simply different.
For the first time I began to accept the idea of how I reached the finish line could be the result of a new and successful blend of ingredients; all the extra effort, creative strategies and steps I needed to follow didn't actually mean I was "broken" - I just required a different sort of assembly to run.
community | marketing consultant | small business advocate | fan of classic cars
and hot rods | beach lover | believer that "together we accomplish more"
